Episode 6: Facing the Regrets of Ministry and Overcoming Them

Ordinary Radicals
Ordinary Radicals
Episode 6: Facing the Regrets of Ministry and Overcoming Them
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In this episode of the Ordinary Radicals podcast, Jonathan Hayashi and Brandon Boatner speak on the topic of regrets in ministry.

There seems to be a whole lot of other topics such as church polity, theological controversy, practical methodology, or scriptural matters yet not on this topic.

I guess the first question is why aren’t people talking about this? Is it because people have no regrets in ministry? Or it is a hush-hush topic to be avoided?

 

Some highlights from today’s episode;

  • 90% of current pastors in churches 10 years from now will NOT be in ministry.

  • On a lay congregant level, people view pastors as superman.
  • People often say, “Jus forgive and forget!” A society says, “just move on!” from any hard issues in life.
  • Christians society has been influenced by the secular society and you got to just move on. I don’t know if that’s a biblically faithful understanding of how God views regrets.
  • As Christians, we must process emotion, but our society doesn’t process emotion well.

  • The world has its McDonalds ways: society is quick-fast paste religious spirituality.

  • Human beings are emotional beings. God has created with the ethos within the heart.
  • Emotions are a great indicator but ought not to be our dictators.
  • Healthy Understanding physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually affect each component as wholistic being is crucial.
  • There are overwhelmed mothers, stressed fathers and confused teenagers. All have complex challenges, but amazingly for Christians, the solution is one and that is Jesus.
  • If people refuse to see the past (rehash back) then people will do the same mistake over and over again.

  • As people, we cannot divorce our experience and background from who we are.

  • Saying, “Yes” to ministry was saying “No” to family.
  • I don’t think there’s nowhere in the church that pride is just helpful, but in every way,  humility is helpful!

  • Part of processing regret, guilt, shame, and doubt is allowing yourself to feel by crying out to God through it.

  • Almost half of the books of Psalms is about lamenting.
  • Come before God humbly, allow yourself to feel emotions, remind yourself of the truth of God.

  • You are NOT the ministry and at the core NOT who you are. You are a Christians a child of God.

  • The 21stcentury contemporary evangelicalism says we need to be, “happy, happy, happy” or “joy, joy, joy” that doesn’t give room for a health holistic lens of scripture.
  • Interpreting God depending on our circumstance probably is not the wisest thing to do.
  • Christin’s with emotions should not express in unhealthy ways, or suppress as it doesn’t exist, or regress to dump it somewhere, but to confess in healthy ways as the Psalms did.
  • Scripture: Inform the mind, ignite the heart and invite the will.

  • Allow the scripture to warm your affection that transforms your volition.

 

Here are the three points as they dive into the hush-hush topic of regrets in ministry;

1. Avoidance: Why is the Topic of Regret in Ministry Unspoken?  

  • Regrets is a huge burden in our lives as pastor/leaders.
  • The source of regrets often is in guilt, shame and judgement.
  • The Christian Cliché: “Forgive and Forget!”

– a. A culture / community filled with regrets.

  • Christians are being influence by the culture (Hebrews 10:24-25).
  • Process of Emotion: “I don’t want to! It hurts and it feels bad.”
  • Avoidance: “I just don’t think about it, deal with it, so don’t feel about it.”

– b. Human beings are emotional beings (John 11:35).

  • What happens to a society that is looking for the next thing to make themselves feel good?
  • Jesus is the solution to all problems (Matt 12:12-17; Heb 12:1-3).
  • There are biblical basis to look backwards.

 

2. The Examples of Regrets in Real Life Ministry

– a. Priorities of Life: (1) God, (2) Family, (3) Ministry.

  • Pray to God to give you courage to face the errors of life.
  • Rock bottom experience leads to humility.
  • God then breaks down pride in the heart and humbles His people.

– b. The Theology of Lament

  • What is Lament? Come with sorrow/grief and process in healthy way by being bluntly honest and authentic.
  • The Book of Lamentation: The cry baby vs. The men’s men.
  • The Book of Psalms: “The Lord heard my plea” (Ps 6:1-10).
  • “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope” (Lam 3:1-21).

 

3. Healthy Way to Handle Regrets

a. Unhealthy ways to deal with Regret: “I’m stuck in this.”

  • “Remain in me” (John 15:1-5).
  • Anxiety & Fear = becomes the sole focus rather than God himself.
  • “Do not be anxious for nothing.” (Phil 4:7-8).
  • Hymn: What a Friend We have in Jesus.
  • Puritans during the Colonial Period Response to Hardship.

b. Goal: Mature and moved forward in regrets.

  • God does not expect for believers to be spiritual children.
  • Relapse? Go backward instead of forward?
  • Fear of men rather than fear of God (Prov 1:7).
  • Trials / regrets in life for the testing of faith (Jam 1:2-4).
  • Predestined to Transform in Christ-likeness (Rom 8:29).
  • Perseverance: Regrets that leads to Hope in Christ (Rom 5:3-5).

c. Relapse or Reminder? God uses those to lead to growth.

 

Resources mentioned in today’s podcast

 

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at jonathanhayashi.com.

 

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