5 Ways to Lead and Love Your Wife

I was looking back at videos recently on our wedding day with my wife. As I was watching, I was reminded again, there is no one more important on this earth I most cherish on earth than my wife. 

Why? For she started with me and she will continue to stay with me, “unto death do us apart” (Eph 5:23). She will be with me right beside me and of all the relationships on earth, she is for a lifetime.

How do I know this? For one day when you are older and your children have started their own families and have moved to another place, or when your friends become elderly and pass away, your wife is the one who will still be right at your side. 

Because God places such great value on the vitality of the role of the wife, the husband ought to treat her like she is important by leading and loving her as Christ loved the church. 

Here are the 5 ways to lead and love your wife well.  


1. Tell Her How Beautiful She Is to You. 

Mention how you see her for who she is. Tell how much you love her and still have the same her like the first time you’ve noticed her. This makes her feel cherished. 

It is the little thing such as comforting and encouraging comments that will make her feel valued. It makes her feel special. So, stop thinking only about yourself and your stuff, and honor and recognize her as she is! 


2. Speak Honorably Your Wife in front of the Children. 

If you treat your wife with honor and respect in front of the children, the family is held strong together. Children’s world is so fragile, but if mom and dad are strong and secure, everything will be just all right. 

By treating her with honor, this will be a model that your son/daughter will look into to exemplify Christ-like love to their future spouse. By emulating love and respect, you are making a lasting impact for generations to come. 


3. Schedule Time to be With Your Wife Alone.  

I remember I was in a counseling session and as I was in the session, the counselor’s phone rang but he didn’t even blink to see who was calling or interrupted the session. I was very moved and felt valued by the person. 

When you’re with your wife and she feels like she’s a slave and is simply put on the backburner all the time, how would that make you feel? Just put yourself in her shoes, and you’ll recognize perhaps how she has felt for a long time. 

Making time for a college for a 2-hour meeting/lunch, but you’re unable to give 15 minutes of your time to your wife is an oxymoron. This communicates subconsciously that she is the lowest priority and insignificant individual in your life. Scheduling time for your wife communicates that she is the highest priority and of value to your life. By scheduling you are saying, “I value you, I see you, I love you more than anyone but you.”  


4. Take Your Wife on a Date-Night Without Your Phone.

This is a lost art for the younger generation. I had to learn this the hard way. Yes, the work will tell you “emergency” and you will be tempted to answer the phone. But your co-workers and friends can wait 30 minutes while you are away spending time with your beautiful bride! 

What are a few suggestions? It will be a good idea perhaps to leave our phone at home or in the car! A completely undistracted time speaks highly to her and the relationship itself. So, go ahead and leave your phone somewhere in the car! 


5. Write a Thank You Note and Express Your Love for Her. 

I know, this is not what men are good at. I am not a note-writer and realize this takes time. It is much easier to write a text or an email. 

But let me tell you. There is something about someone special writing a note of thank you and love. This communicates that you want to show your time and effort you care and love for your wife. It is a small investment of time but speaks volumes of your appreciation for her. 

I know everyone is different, but women love to receive personal notes from their loved ones. 


The Heart of Sacrificial Christ-like Love 

Unfortunately, too many men treat their wives without “honor” as Peter commands the husband to treat their wives as treasured jewels (1 Pet 3:7). She ought to be given the highest priority of life and treated as a precious fragile vessel with tender loving care. 

Husband, absolutely no one in your life is more precious or important to you than your wife. 

These lists may not come naturally to you, but it is time for us men to learn and exemplify these to our wives. They deserve to be treated with tender loving care. They are so important that kindness ought not to be even a question! 

The list above is just a few suggestions. Perhaps, you can send your wife a gift card and tell her to go on a shopping streak! Rather than using the money for your self to buy more “junk” or for the “man-cave” shower her with love by letting her use the extra money you made!  

What are other suggestions you would like to make on this list? 

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