Episode 31: Church Hurt

Ordinary Radicals
Ordinary Radicals
Episode 31: Church Hurt

In this episode of the Ordinary Radicals podcast, Jonathan Hayashi, and Brandon Boatner about church hurt.

It’s a serious, isn’t it? There’s church hurt in people in general, but how does that all lay out? Why does this “hurt” seems unique? How does it manifest itself?


Some highlights from today’s episode.

  • Hurt is something we all go through because of sin.

  • Preach the word in and out of seasons.
  • Don’t want to be stuck in past circumstances, that influences the present moments, which unbales you to move towards the future opportunities.
  • Dealing with maturity can help move beyond church hurt.

  • Churches can be like counselor. It may take time for you to find a healthy church.
  • Criticism with concern is constructive. Criticism without concern is combative.
  • Casting stones, that hurts. That is the reason we can sympathize with those who hurt.
  • Church is not like family. Church IS FAMILY. That is why it hurt.
  • When we choose to forgive and move on, we are emulating Jesus to people.

Here’s the breakdown outline from today’s conversation.

1. What Does Church Hurt Look Like?

– Hurt Process: (1) Hurt (2) Anger (3) Bitter (4) Revenge.

– “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Heb 12:15).

– Fruit of flesh vs. fruit of the spirit (Gal 5).


2. How Do We Best Minister to Those who Experience Church Hurt?

– Grace-filled moments? Preach the gospel to ourselves.

– Put on Christ vs. Put Off Self.

– Revitalization with those who experienced church hurt.

– Sit and talk about past issues may help at times to navigate difficult pain.

– Hurt people hurt people.

– “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,” (2 Cor 1:3).


3. What Might We Tell People Stop Going to Church?

– I cannot be Jesus to everyone. I cannot be Messiah for people.

– Church is not museum of saints but hospital for sinners.

– “Do not neglect the assembly of believers” (Heb 10:24).

– There’s no perfect church. No judgement-free church.


4. Every Pastor Learned to Live with Church Hurt

– Everyone lives in a glasshouse. For a pastor? It’s up on top of a hill.

– “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply” – A.W. Tozer

– Forgiveness is hurtful when we don’t want to forgive.

– “Forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).


Resources mentioned in today’s podcast


If you have a question, you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at jonathanhayashi.com.

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2 thoughts on “Episode 31: Church Hurt”

  1. Goodafternoon,
    I bought your book a few years ago (maybe 4 or almost 5), ashamedly I have not read it. I read probably a page or two. My children and I have experienced church hurt, deeply.

    • Adele, sorry to hear about your hurt you felt from the church. There’s nothing as beautiful as the church, but at the same time, not as hurtful as a church. I pray Jesus restore and brings you and your family by his grace to His own glory.


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